meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
