I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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