absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
