ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Are my feet made of real feet?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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