The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
