He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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