Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
