I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
