I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
