Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
