Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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