You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
