this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
