I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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