elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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