There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
