"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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