highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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