no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
