Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
