You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
