I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
