i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
