He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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