i already hear my dad disowning me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
