Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
