Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
