I cannot find my penis.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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