??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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