We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
