atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
