Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
