..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
