I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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