would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
