this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
