Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
