singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
