So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
