Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
