The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
