Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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