My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
