they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
