Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
