The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
