It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
