i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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