shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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