what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's just so happy...and so naked.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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