i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
