yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
